Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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