I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Randomize
