My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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