You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
