so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
smell my finger.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
cat food counts as protein by the way
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
