Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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