areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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