Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
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She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
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I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying