we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
