Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
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This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
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she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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