Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i only hope i can top last weeks sext session

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(313): i only hope i can top last weeks sext session http://tfl.nu/3g0x

Replies (1) Good night (2617) Bad night (1241)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...

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(717): If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one... http://tfl.nu/slb8

Replies (23) Good night (5901) Bad night (699)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.

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(860): Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god. http://tfl.nu/co52

Replies (30) Good night (1353) Bad night (10222)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.

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(610): My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing. http://tfl.nu/h8rn

Replies (49) Good night (1134) Bad night (5511)
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(574): View more from Indiana

my professor just said "the power of the situation"

(216): View more from Ohio

drink

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(574): my professor just said "the power of the situation" (216): drink http://tfl.nu/g82n

Replies (17) Good night (5225) Bad night (799)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...

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(303): Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time... http://tfl.nu/53f4

Replies (4) Good night (2306) Bad night (991)
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(607): View more from New York

She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.

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(607): She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her. http://tfl.nu/f1tk

Replies (7) Good night (4376) Bad night (872)
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(917): View more from New York City

I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.

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(917): I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/qvff

Replies (23) Good night (1270) Bad night (3605)
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(416): View more from Toronto

Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?

(613): View more from Ontario

you're kidding right?

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(416): Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow? (613): you're kidding right? http://tfl.nu/5c4n

Replies (9) Good night (2748) Bad night (535)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.

(732): View more from New Jersey

you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.

(732): View more from New Jersey

IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.

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(732): You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home. (732): you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato. (732): IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME. http://tfl.nu/cjpu

Replies (6) Good night (1310) Bad night (570)
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(574): View more from Indiana

I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.

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(574): I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help. http://tfl.nu/f05s

Replies (2) Good night (799) Bad night (380)
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(805): View more from California

I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka

(714): View more from California

I could

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(805): I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka (714): I could http://tfl.nu/hbcr

Replies (7) Good night (968) Bad night (375)
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(347): View more from New York

I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.

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(347): I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/c9pc

Replies (4) Good night (648) Bad night (335)
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(815): View more from Illinois

I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome

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(815): I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome http://tfl.nu/5x53

Replies (1) Good night (480) Bad night (229)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree

(1-719): View more from Colorado

it happenes

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(719): I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree (1-719): it happenes http://tfl.nu/m4ky

Replies (1) Good night (796) Bad night (192)

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