The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes