I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
