I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.