Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  Mommy issues

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  (303): I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick. (1-303): Mommy issues http://tfl.nu/pw3k
  Replies (4) Good night (927) Bad night (1825)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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  (630): I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos! (317): Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto? (630): Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos http://tfl.nu/vb21
  Replies (20) Good night (2668) Bad night (899)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.

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  (253): i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed. http://tfl.nu/26az
  Replies (35) Good night (3911) Bad night (987)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.

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  (561): So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon. http://tfl.nu/ni4o
  Replies (10) Good night (3336) Bad night (600)
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  (212): View more from New York

  i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack

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  (212): i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack http://tfl.nu/9hdw
  Replies (32) Good night (1436) Bad night (4851)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"

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  (208): Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores" http://tfl.nu/e2re
  Replies (37) Good night (1037) Bad night (8757)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4662) Bad night (769)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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  (508): i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip. http://tfl.nu/di6e
  Replies (10) Good night (3441) Bad night (1634)
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  (310): View more from California

  So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?

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  (310): So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned? http://tfl.nu/6bz7
  Replies (15) Good night (5252) Bad night (1087)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well

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  (917): about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well http://tfl.nu/ygjn
  Replies (14) Good night (5111) Bad night (1211)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him

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  (314): i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him http://tfl.nu/pw5n
  Replies (36) Good night (7395) Bad night (2133)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS

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  (914): Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS http://tfl.nu/w0yg
  Replies (34) Good night (10910) Bad night (1397)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.

  (1-334): View more from Alabama

  Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.

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  (334): I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does. (1-334): Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers. http://tfl.nu/3563
  Replies (22) Good night (4776) Bad night (889)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...

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  (304): I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here... http://tfl.nu/7uov
  Replies (3) Good night (383) Bad night (854)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating

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  (206): My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating http://tfl.nu/ns48
  Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (407)

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