Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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