So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
