Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
