If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
