Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
