I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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