The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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