come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
