Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
The power of my boobs compel you
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
