My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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