I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
