I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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