How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
