I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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