What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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