Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize
