So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
