Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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