This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
