It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
How's work?
Spinning.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
