Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
there was a trapeze. enough said
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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