nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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