why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
