Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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