I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
