It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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