I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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