Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
