Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
