the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Randomize
