She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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