toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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