the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
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