either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
