I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
