I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
