you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
