I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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