I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
My pussy is not your playground.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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