If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
