I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
