also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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