the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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