I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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