so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize