I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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