So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
just tell him i said nine months
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
