Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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