FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
