he wants to bone in the snuggie
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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