So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
