She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
