is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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